The death of Matthew Perry - Chandler from Friends - saw an outpouring of grief worldwide. None perhaps more so than from his former colleagues - the other five 'Friends' themselves as well as other co-stars.
The cast of Friends put out a statement, reading: “We are all so utterly devastated by the loss of Matthew,” the five actors said. “We were more than just castmates. We are a family. There is so much to say, but right now we’re going to take a moment to grieve and process this unfathomable loss. In time we will say more, as and when we are able. For now, our thoughts and our love are with Matty’s family, his friends, and everyone who loved him around the world.”
Losing a work colleague either suddenly or through long-term illness can have a huge impact on staff, individually and as a group. It's an emotional and practical experience which has daily and long-term impact and one that, as an HR professional, you will most likely experience during your career.
It might be that you have already experienced this - and there is always more to learn, depending on the circumstances of the loss.
Dr Venetia Leonidaki, Consultant Psychologist with a special interest in treating complex grief explains: "As a clinical leader in the National Health Service (NHS) in England, I have also often been called to support staff members and line managers navigate their grief in the workplace. Communication is key. Each person's loss and grief is as unique as their fingerprint. Have an open and honest conversation with your staff member and ask them about the impact of their loss on their lives and how they will feel best supported."
Informing staff of the news
When a team member has died, it might well be that you, as HR, are the first person to hear about it - so it might fall to you to let their team know. Similarly, if you know a manager is the person who will be in touch with the family to be told the news, then you will need to support them, too.
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Smriti Joshi, Lead Psychologist at WYSA explains: "It’s important that, in conjunction with the family, employees are informed about the colleague's passing as soon as possible, in a compassionate and sensitive manner. HR teams might benefit from training and support so that they can offer a listening ear and provide a safe space for employees to express their grief and emotions. They can organise grief counselling sessions, either in-house or through external resources, to help employees understand and cope with their feelings."
Some bereaved individuals benefit from time off work, while others appreciate the distraction that work can offer
Taking time off
Joshi advocates for time off to deal with grief, as well as to attend memorial services. This is where flexible working can really shine. "Offer flexible scheduling or remote work options to accommodate their needs during this challenging period. You might want to organise or support memorial events or activities where employees can come together to remember their colleague. This can include creating a memorial space in the workplace or facilitating a virtual memorial event. Encourage employees to utilise EAP services if available. Often these are not utilised to their max capacity, but good tools can offer clinical help, professional counselling and support for employees dealing with grief and loss. Make sure that employees know how they can go to and the right points of contact. Wysa’s CBT packs include ways to deal with grief, and the discrete and convenient nature of an app on your phone means it’s always available."
However, not everyone wants time off, adds Leonidaki. "Take into account the local bereavement or special leave policy, if there is one, and use your discretion. Some bereaved individuals benefit from time off work, while others appreciate the distraction that work can offer. If appropriate, consider reviewing your local policy to support a bereaved staff member in the best possible way."
Distributing and sharing their workload
Perhaps the most difficult element in a practical sense is the person's work. It may well be that the team were already covering elements of the work if the person was unwell long-term, but you need to be very careful not to jump into a 'doing mode' where you distribute work. That said, of course, there will still need to be changes made in the team to make sure that things are covered off when you can. Be sensitive - this is not a time for quick messages. Talk to managers about what work needs to be done and the priorities.
If might be, adds Joshi, that you need to recruit temporary staff or turn to freelancers in order to manage the workload and simultaneously give the team time to grieve and adapt to what's happened.
Joshi says: "There will also be practical considerations. HR should work with managers to redistribute the deceased colleague's workload among the team or temporarily hire temporary staff to fill the gap, ensuring that employees are not overwhelmed with additional responsibilities at a challenging time. Desks should be cleared so they do not act as a reminder. Death of a colleague can also lead to a lot of anxiety about who will fill in their place especially if this person was a leader, and the leadership and management may need to provide reassurance to especially those closely working with this person.
When all of the above is considered, it's also important to think about the longer term impact of the loss and how you'll honour the memory of the person who has died
Long-term considerations
When all of the above is considered, it's also important to think about the longer term impact of the loss and how you'll honour the memory of the person who has died.
The best way to begin that process is to consult with staff - would they like to raise money for a particular charity in the person's memory, for example? They might wish for a memorial service at work or with colleagues, in addition to any other services. And they might want a memorial or plaque considered in memory of the person.
Joshi adds: "And this is an ongoing thing. HR should continue to check in with employees in the weeks and months following the colleague's death to ensure that they are coping well and receiving the necessary support. There is no right or wrong way to experience grief or any defined time duration to get over it, so ensure HR managers are sensitive and flexible about this."
